The first wave of the IJGB (I Just Got Back) brigade is touching down, and the scent of grilled suya and burning debit/credit cards is already in the air. But before you step out into the delightful chaos of Lagos, Joy Adesanya-Odunlami, the Group CEO of AJ Skylar Holdings and certified serial entrepreneur, has issued a critical Public Service Announcement.
Odunlami, a UK returnee herself who has navigated the Lagos jungle for 13 years, took to TikTok to drop a survival guide specifically tailored for visiting ladies. Her message is clear: Lock up your hearts, open your wallets (for local vendors), and for the love of God, use your brain.
Rule #1: Don’t Be Delusional (Do Not Relocate)
Odunlami starts with a harsh dose of reality for those swept up in the holiday romance of the city. “Do not relocate because of Detty December,” she warns.
The Lagos you see in December is a mirage. “Your people are on holiday… they’re letting loose for 30 days.” She reminds the diaspora that the euphoric feeling of “being at home” is often just the result of a very expensive, temporary party. “Reality is going to kick in mid-January. Wait. Come back then,” she advises. Essentially, don’t sell your London flat because the Amapiano hits differently at 2 AM.
Rule #2: CSI: Lagos Edition (Do Your Background Checks)
Her second commandment is a call for investigative journalism. “Do your background check. Post it in the WhatsApp group, post it on Twitter… Don’t be fooled.”
Why? Because that perfect Nigerian prince who ticks every box likely has a “wife at home praying for him to come back.” In Lagos, being single is a state of mind, not necessarily a marital status. Joy’s advice is simple: if he looks too good to be true, crowdsource his bio data before you catch feelings.
Rule #3: Love Bombing is a Red Flag
Odunlami identifies a specific tactic used by the legendary “Yoruba Demons” (and their Igbo and Hausa counterparts): Love Bombing.
“If it’s flashy, if it’s loud, if it’s love bombing you… it’s suspicious,” she declares. She hilariously points out that feeling overwhelmed after two weeks isn’t love; it’s just “consensus left your body.” The whirlwind romance is often just a seasonal performance.
Rule #4: Watch Your Drink (This Is Not London)
This one is serious. Odunlami drops the humor to deliver a critical safety warning: “Do not leave your drinks unattended.” She contrasts the security systems of the West with the stark reality of Lagos nightlife. “This is Nigeria. The chances of someone getting arrested… is very slim.” Her advice? Unless the waiter cracks the seal in front of your eyes, don’t touch it.
Rule #5: DO NOT FALL IN LOVE
This rule is so vital that it bookends her entire manifesto. “Ladies, do not I repeat. Do not fall in love.”
She vividly describes the trap: “Fine, tall, finesse. Everything takes everything off your list, then everything goes out the window.” She predicts the future with chilling accuracy: “You will be reminded of those values in approximately 30 days… when he starts ghosting you, or when you randomly find a picture of him and his wife.”
Odunlami drops 10 Commandments of Detty December for single ladies
She warns against the gaslighting friends who will hail you as “Our Wife” after one drink. “They saw him like that two years ago when they stood behind him at his wedding,” she quips.
The Bottom Line: Use Your Sense
Adesanya’s final charge is a call to emotional toughness. “Don’t come out here and act a fool… Start losing your alphabet.” She urges women to keep their logic intact because “in 30 days, he’ll be your Nigerian demon.”
Her message is a humorous but potent inoculation against the seasonal heartbreak that plagues December. “The fewer heartbreaks we have, the more that we survive as women,” she concludes.
So, to all the ladies landing in Lagos: Welcome. Enjoy the food, slay your outfits, and shake what your mama gave you. But leave your heart in your carry-on luggage—you’re going to need it when you fly back.
@joya_mrso Don’t say I didn’t warn you…..😂 #dettydecember
