The official phone line of the Akwa Ibom State Police Public Relations Officer transformed into a matchmaking hotline this week.
Deputy Superintendent of Police Timfon John, in a move of transparency, published her direct number on social media to better serve the public. The public, however, had other ideas. What she expected was citizen engagement; what she got was a tidal wave of testosterone.
Within an hour, her phone became a symphony of ringtones, logging a staggering “100 calls in 10 mins.” An overwhelmed John took to X, pleading, “Abeg, make una try breathe” (Please, try to breathe). Her colleagues from other commands could only watch the chaos unfold with a mixture of pity and amusement.
100 calls in 10min? Abeg mk una try breathe .
— Timfon John (@officerTimzy) August 4, 2025
An analysis of the over 3,000 calls received revealed a clear mission creep. Instead of reporting crimes or seeking safety tips, callers were reportedly conducting romantic reconnaissance. Key intel gathered by these amorous civilians included verifying the PRO’s identity and, crucially, noting the absence of a ring on her finger—a green light for many to “shoot their shot.”
One particularly dedicated admirer inquired, “What crime can I commit that will make me be in your custody forever?” demonstrating a confusing blend of criminal intent and devotion.
Despite the deluge, DSP John maintains impeccable professional grace, responding to even the most flirtatious calls with patience. When asked about the distraction, she philosophically noted that humans are “not wired the same way.”
Her primary message of community safety, however, appears to have been drowned out by a chorus of marriage proposals and compliments on her beauty. The Akwa Ibom Police Command has yet to issue guidance on the proper protocol for proposing to an officer on duty.
