The internet is in the middle of a synchronized geopolitical meltdown, and JoEll Perry is at the center of it. The American lifestyle influencer and digital creator—known online as @joellperry—posted a photo and video in an aggressively tight world map jumpsuit with a deceptively simple question: “Which country?”
The answer, apparently, is Nigeria. Because that’s where the garment’s designers decided to place the West African nation—strategically jammed directly onto her inner crotch seam.
Critics have blasted Perry for wearing the garment, accusing her of placing Nigeria in a deeply inappropriate location. Others aimed their fire at the design team, questioning whether anyone in the printing process has ever looked at a globe, or whether they simply threw text magnets at a wall and printed whatever stuck.
But the backlash is competing with something far thirstier. Perry’s fans have flooded her comments not to criticize the geography, but to praise it. Her horniest amateur cartographers are now packing their bags, ready to “move in” as quickly as possible. “I’ve suddenly decided to pack my bags and move to Nigeria,” wrote one commenter, completely ignoring the fact that traveling from Poland to West Africa on this particular textile map is about a four-inch vertical drop down the human abdomen.
The map itself is a cartographic disaster. Sweden, Germany, and Poland are clustered erratically near her collarbone. Spain, Italy, and Austria stretch down her legs. Real-world route to Nigeria: cross the Atlantic, enter via Niger. Jumpsuit route: mind the zipper.
The UN’s Cartographic Section could not be reached for comment on whether this constitutes a formal border dispute.
Somewhere, a cartographer is crying. Nigeria has been relocated. And according to JoEll Perry’s comment section, business is booming.
